Two Scoops and A Quiet Corner Booth

Live with no regrets, they say.  Is that even possible?  I dare to think that those who profess such are lying to themselves.  You live with regrets until you can honestly, or logically define the, 'what the hell just happened here?' question.  In the meantime, and in between time, every actor in your mental play deserves, at minimum, a punch in the face, followed by your disoriented celebratory dance; like Ali, when he landed the knockout.  You win the fight, but the battle left you beat up, and just outright ugly.  Then you have to deal with ugly.  Ugly can take days, weeks, or try 8 months to dissipate; and, it's still work, because you have to spend time reminding everyone who cares to ask of your bruises, "but I kicked his ass".  Yeah, okay.  I'll save face, take the ice cream for $350 Alex, and find myself a nice place to resolve this in my own heart, though it be in pieces.

Taking the ice cream means that time is given to think things through; to pull yourself together.  Two or three scoops should do it, but if you don't take the ice cream, you'll do something stupid that, even Ben and Jerry can't save you on.  You get your heart broken and you lay in wait, nursing those pieces until an opportunity comes to level the playing field.  Not only are you about to make a more grave decision, but you're willing to risk some things to bring it to fruition.  In your mind, this is the 'punch to the face' that exceeds all punches.  They won't feel it, but because it happened, you're all happy and shit....for the first 3 minutes.  Then reality sets in....never before your STUPID move, but shortly, thereafter.  Your marbles are all scattered now; you scramble to pick them up, each time dropping a few more, and you realize that, you just broke your own heart.  You managed to shatter the broken pieces even more.  Why couldn't you just have the ice cream?

Then, you start to involve folks who have no clue of what they're involved in.  They have no idea they're doing a cameo in your badly staged play.  On the surface, you probably like them, wouldn't want any harm to come to them, but their ignorance of your shattered heart syndrome makes them a likely candidate to fulfill your mission.  You know that, if you told the whole truth, they'd tell you to eat the ice cream; so, you leave them in the blind.  This is about playing the dirty hand you were dealt, and you need a partner.  These are dangerous waters to sail, but when you're not thinking with a clear head, you really don't care.  You put it in motion, and let the chips fall where they may.

Emotional decisions will never be a friend.  Trying to be someone you're not, is not a good look, either.  When you are just so sure you have something to prove, sit with the ice cream....please.  Pain goes away, but you can end up with double for your trouble, when you compound it with regrettable decisions.  Regrets come to show us that we ARE the common denominators in the great scheme of things. We are, if you will, our own worst enemy, when we refuse to take life's counsel and just let things be.  Must we live with them?  Nope, but we must resolve them, or they become our lives.

I'll probably have some ice cream every day this week....I threw my punching gloves in the trash.